Hi Guys! We are in week 5, our final week of our building healthy foundations series. I saved this one for last because it tends to be the last thing we think about necessary to ensure a solid foundation!
This topic is one I have to cover with almost ALL my clients. Having a concrete foundation is key to maintaining a healthy, loving relationship. Over the next few weeks, I will break down the top 5 ways to build this type of foundation.
We all hear about the importance of having a strong foundation in our relationships right? Similar to building a house, the foundation needs to be as solid as possible in order to “weather” the storms down the years. The first thing you need to do is decide what kind of foundation you want. Since it’s your relationship(your house), you get to choose! What is your relationship built on?
I’ve listed my top 5 foundations for creating a solid relationship.
1.Taking time to build a friendship
2.love as an action
3.Constant communication
4.Grow together in self development
5. Self care
Self Care
I literally laughed out loud when I sat down to blog today and realized what my last foundation was. Why, you ask? Because self care is probably the single most undervalued, misunderstood, easily forgotten, concept out there. We all struggle with the concept of "taking care of ourselves, or taking time for ourselves". Yet, in order to have a healthy, happy, thriving relationship, it is absolutely mandatory each person practice self care on a regular basis. I am constantly working on being more conscientious and self aware of my own personal needs and taking time to nourish myself(It's definitely not always easy).
If I were to ask you right now "do you take care of yourself?", you would probably answer yes or duh, of course I take care of myself. What kind of a dumb question is that, right? Now, what if I were to ask how do you take care of yourself? Can you give me two ways in which you practice self care? If you can, AWESOME! If you can't, still AWESOME, because after this article you will be able to (and your life and relationships will surely benefit!)
The idea and emphasis of self care has gained a lot of notoriety recently, which is exciting and motivating for some people and daunting and overwhelming for others. In our technology age, there is sooo much information out there, everywhere! It can be intimidating to know where to look, what to read/watch and HOW to implement these essential activities and blocks of time into our already crammed agenda. Oh, yeah, did I mention this time is supposed to be dedicated just for you, all by yourself.(Who's going to watch the kids)? Who has time to squeeze another activity into their day, right? We are all incredibly busy with our families, jobs, schools, household duties, just life in general!
Now, all of a sudden these days our doctors, the workplace, social media, coaches, everyone is encouraging us to take time out for ourselves. What do we say? Yeah, sure. Sounds good. I'll get right on that doc! Let me tell you why you should actually get right on that. Self care is the food that nourishes our mind, body and spirit. Like I mentioned earlier, we are all constantly on the go and we are constantly giving. Living and existing is giving. We give our time, energy, effort, knowledge and love continuously. With all that giving, we need to ensure our "vessel" remains full and is performing at an optimal level in order to be capable of giving to ourselves and others (especially in our relationships, which require an enormous amount of love, time and energy) We have all experienced the physical effects within our body when we don't get enough sleep or we go too long without food. #HANGRY! It's not a pretty site. The same happens emotionally and spiritually, it's just not as obvious because it isn't tangible. Anxiety, fatigue and irritability are good indicators that you are running low on fuel and it is probably around the time you could use a serious refill. I'll take a cup of self care, thanks!
Okay, I hear you, so how does one figure out how to practice self care? First, I just want to say self care is not as confusing as you may think. I'll break it down into three steps: The first step is acknowledging and identifying (figuring out) your needs. Next, is planning. Actually designating a certain amount of time to enjoy your you time (Let's be honest, if we don't schedule it in and set an alarm in our phones like everything else in our lives, it will never get done).The final step is action! Using the allotted time to meet your needs by engaging in activities that nurture and refuel you. That's it! These activities should be things you actually enjoy doing by the way, not something you have to force yourself to do. Don't choose working out for an hour at the gym as your self care activity because you "feel like you should", if you don't like the gym or working out. A common misconception is that self care looks, or should look the same for everyone. NEGATIVE! It is unique for every individual because we all have different needs. In your relationship, for example, your self care could be going to a different part of the house and listening to your favorite type of music for an hour (uninterrupted, need to isolate). Your partner's could be going for a run (need for physical activity). It is designed by you, for you. Whatever you choose is fine as long as it is supporting your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.
Naturally, with a overall healthier being, everyone in your life will benefit creating a more harmonious environment. What will you new self care activity be?
