Hi Guys! I have a good one for you this week! This topic is one I have to cover with almost ALL my clients. Having a concrete foundation is key to maintaining a healthy, loving relationship. Over the next few weeks, I will break down the top 5 ways to build this type of foundation.
We all hear about the importance of having a strong foundation in our relationships right? Similar to building a house, the foundation needs to be as solid as possible in order to “weather” the storms down the years. The first thing you need to do is decide what kind of foundation you want. Since it’s your relationship(your house), you get to choose! What is your relationship built on?
I’ve listed my top 5 foundations for creating a solid relationship.
1.Taking time to build a friendship
2.love as an action
3.Constant communication
4. Grow together in self development
5. Self care
1. Friendship
Friendship is absolutely necessary because of the level of respect, compassion and overall love we express to our closest friends. Think about it for a second, just think of one of your best friends…
Do you support and console them in times of crisis/provide emotional support? Do you spend time together doing things you enjoy? Do you guys always agree on everything? Is it still cool if you just agree to disagree? Do you forgive and still love them after disagreements? Don’t you feel like you would pretty much do anything for your best friend? And them the same for you? I’m guessing most of us answered yes, to probably all of these questions. Okay, duh, why wouldn’t I do these things for my best friend, right? Right! Which is totally awesome! You are a great friend!
Now let’s switch relationships for a minute, replace your best friend with your partner(and be honest with yourself).
Are you present, available and patient when your partner has a concern they would like to express/address? Even if it’s something you have heard before, don’t care about, or you think is not that big a deal etc. Are you involved and spending quality time in each other’s activities? Even if it’s something you may not necessarily care for? You care for them right? Is it going to kill you? Just do it, it will mean the world to them! When the two of you disagree on something, are you actually LISTENING in an effort to hear each other out? Or do you listen to reply? Or worse you're not listening at all because you are so focused on proving your point. After disagreements/fights, are you able to realize we all have different life experiences, perspectives, and communication styles and it’s totally okay and completely normal to not agree on a crap ton of things! Or do you silently harbor resentment? Regardless of what your hurt, angry, ego says, your partner is not intentionally trying to push your buttons, be irrational, start a fight, or not love you anymore!
The key to mastering this foundation starts with having that mutual respect for one another, like you have for your closest friends. I know, I know, easier said than done right? Wrong! Especially if the two of you take time to cultivate that friendship piece in the beginning. So try and always treat your partner the way you treat friends. And the next time you’re in a postion where you need to extend a little extra patience, compassion, quality time, fill in the blank, to your partner....
Just think, what would you do if this were your bestie!
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